Exposed (Free Falling) Read online

  Free Falling

  Book Three: Exposed

  By Raven St. Pierre

  Free Falling

  Book Three: Exposed

  © May 2014, Raven St. Pierre

  This book contains strong sexual themes and content not suitable for persons under the age of 18. This work is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including, but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Raven St. Pierre.

  This e-book is licensed for personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

  Synopsis

  They’re back. They’re grown. It’s on…

  In the third and final installment of the Free Falling series, five years have passed since the tragedy that changed Samantha Kelley’s life forever. She made the difficult decision to walk away from the man she once thought to be her soul mate. Looking back, there were a few regrets, but she still believes in her heart that fleeing to New York was the right move….or does she? For the most part, she’s settled and content, but there’s a question still brewing in the back of her mind - Will her current relationship ever measure up to the passion that she experienced with AJ?

  When Sam walked away, AJ found himself spiraling uncontrollably through every emotion possible – grief, anger, and depression, to name a few. It took almost two years for him to fully get over the idea of her leaving him behind without so much as an address where she could be reached. But he didn’t get through the darkest time of his life without a little help from someone who seemed to just appear out of nowhere – a woman who now has dibs on his heart.

  It was simple for the pair to pretend like old feelings had faded into the abyss while they were hundreds of miles apart, but what will happen when Sam and AJ meet up again for the first time in years? Will resentment forever keep ‘what could’ve been’ just at arm’s length? Will it be love at first sight like they experienced in the past? Or will they fight against the insatiable pull that they have always had toward one another, choosing to keep their current relationships intact instead?

  Special Thanks

  To the readers who have supported the Free Falling series, as well as my other works – thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! The outpouring of love and support has truly overwhelmed my heart.

  Shout out to the feisty group of ladies who I’ve connected with via Facebook (you guys know who you are)!!! Through our random antics, rants, and musings, I’ve grown to appreciate the bond that we’ve developed despite the fact that we haven’t formally met. I have never come across a more die-hard group of readers in my life and I’m so honored that you have grown to love Sam, AJ, and all the others over the past several months.

  It’s because of you that I continue to do what I do.

  To my editor, friend since the age of 14, and talented poet, La Kata Kling – you are an awesome human being and I am blessed beyond words to know you. You’ve been down for me since this whole writing thing was just something we did for fun. I love you, girl!

  For anyone who hasn’t already, do yourself a favor and check out her book of poetry,

  A Deeper Me, on Amazon.

  To the wonderfully talented author, my sister from a different mister, Victoria H. Smith – without your help and your patience, I would have pulled my hair out trying to write “Exposed”. I appreciate your encouragement and support more than words can express.

  Read an excerpt of her upcoming interracial romance novel, Found by You, at the end of this book!

  To my friends and family who have been an endless well of support, I love and thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart!!!

  Also available from Raven St. Pierre

  Free Falling Book 1: Gravity

  Free Falling Book 2: Secrets

  Red Sun

  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob

  Coming Soon

  Again for the First Time

  Raven appreciates your purchase and would love to get your feedback when you finish! Leave your review of this author’s work wherever you made your purchase and let others know what you thought of “Exposed” (Free Falling Book Three).

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  There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

  – Friedrich Nietzsche

  Chapter One

  Five Years Later…

  Sam

  Wading through the sea of pedestrians on the streets below Dr. Gill’s seventh floor office, I fought my way there every Wednesday like clockwork. First, I’d stop for a strawberry-banana smoothie from a kiosk a few blocks away, run by a sweet-spirited, older gentleman named Giuseppe. He learned my routine after seeing my face week after week at the same time, rain or shine. Now, when I made it to his stand, my beverage was always prepared and waiting beside the register. I’d grab the drink, pay him with exact change, and we’d trade smiles before I continued on. Sure, an actual lunch would’ve been nice; however, these thirty-minute sessions were too precious to forfeit.

  My thoughts all ran together like a 10-car pileup as I searched for the answer to Dr. Gill’s question, and all she’d asked was, “How’re you feeling about all of the changes you’ll be facing in the upcoming weeks?”

  I sat there cross-legged and silent.

  She saw the frustration as my brow tensed, prompting her to amend her statement. “Okay…let’s take this one step at a time. We’ll start with your feelings regarding Angel moving out of your apartment.”

  I shrugged and took a deep breath. “Honestly? I’m encouraging her to go. Things are going well between her and Lamar and they’re both ready to make that step.”

  “Has Angel’s impending move made Jason push harder for the two of you to share a place?”

  Another sigh escaped. “He brings it up at least once every few days, but I manage to avoid the conversation for the most part.” I laughed a little, but Dr. Gill saw straight through me as usual, leveling a concerned glare my way.

  I smoothed my dress down my thighs to distract myself. “I’ve given it some serious thought, though. Really, I have…I just don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

  When I met her gaze, Dr. Gill already knew why I wasn’t keen on the idea of sharing my space – or my bed – with Jason on a full-time basis. Of the many scars I bore as a result of the sexual assault, my intimacy issues were perhaps the hardest to shake. Jason had been patient thus far, not letting my hang-ups affect his feelings for me. It wasn’t that we didn’t have sex, there were just…rules.

  Dr. Gill cleared her throat while making a note. I waited, hoping that she’d move on to a new topic.

  “There’s a wedding coming up soon, correct?” She wore a smile, but I was anything but excited about next weekend. I mean, sure I was happy for Terrell and Maisha deciding to tie the knot; however, I was not happy about Terrell’s choice for his best man.

  �
�It is next weekend, right? Or did I confuse the date?” She asked, checking her notes when I failed to respond.

  “No…it’s next Saturday; you’re right.”

  She cocked her head to the side, noticing the vacant expression that I wore. “These are good friends of yours. I thought this would actually be a good thing for you.” Based on the confused look on her face, I remembered that I hadn’t told her about AJ being there and having to face him for the first time in five years…since I walked away.

  “My ex will be there,” I forced out in one breath.

  Dr. Gill cocked her head to the side. “Thee ex?”

  I nodded to confirm.

  She set her pen down on her notepad. “I hadn’t realized –“

  “Makes two of us.” The tension mounted in my shoulders, tightening into a nice knot that was sure to stay there until this whole ordeal was over. Staring at AJ’s initials on my wrist, I slid my cuff bracelet down to cover it and went on. “I didn’t know until a few nights ago. Up until then, he was supposed to be out of town on business from what I heard, but…his plans changed, I guess.”

  The doctor was silent for a moment, probably watching the range of emotions that crossed my face. “What are your thoughts on that?”

  I only shrugged.

  “Are you planning to avoid him?”

  “From what I understand, that won’t be necessary. I’m pretty sure we’ll be steering clear of each other.”

  “Why would you assume that?”

  I laughed cynically. “Because, Dr. Gill, I walked away – didn’t tell him where to find me, how to get in touch with me, never called, never wrote, nothing…”

  “And with good reason, Samantha,” she countered. “You were broken and scared – a victim of a violent sexual assault. And at the hand of someone you knew and trusted. That’s not an easy thing to overcome.”

  I cringed at the thought of Antonio, fighting to ignore the vivid images that followed. It was bad enough that I frequently revisited that memory in my nightmares.

  “There’s no fault in what you did – in realizing that part of your healing process meant leaving everything behind. Including AJ. The sooner you accept that and forgive yourself, the better.”

  This wasn’t the first time she’d accused me of projecting my own feelings and views on the situation onto AJ. She had this grandiose sense of optimism that led her to believe that he’d forgiven me for leaving him behind at Charleston; however, I didn’t get that vibe from Terrell, Maisha, or Deanna whenever AJ happened to come up in conversation.

  “Will Jason be accompanying you to the wedding?” She asked, interrupting my thoughts.

  I nodded.

  She made another note before setting her notebook aside and giving me what I’d come to identify as ‘the mom look’ that she gives whenever she’s about to recommend something that she knows I’ll be uncomfortable with.

  “Have you thought about seeing this as an opportunity to gain closure in –“

  I burst out laughing before she could finish. “I value your opinion, Dr. Gill, but…not happening. There’s no way I’m about to make a scene at Terrell and Maisha’s wedding.”

  “Why does it have to be a scene? You’re an adult. He’s an adult. Not to make light of this or oversimplify it, but is it so farfetched to think that he would be open to this?”

  She really didn’t have a clue, did she?

  More than once, Terrell avoided talking about AJ back when I used to even bother asking how he was doing. Not only was AJ hurt and angry that I’d left, he’d moved on. From what I could gather, she wasn’t just some girl either; they were pretty serious. A pang of guilt sickened me and I lowered my head.

  “Well…just give it some thought. You have time to mull it over, and we’ll have another session before you head to Boston. We can revisit the topic then.”

  I nodded, but had no interest in our conversation going there…ever.

  The rest of the session was pretty routine. I hit the sidewalk and took several deep breaths, ridding myself of the heaviness I always feel after discussing my past and the subsequent side effects. There was still another four hours left in my workday and I needed my head clear. Putting one foot in front of the other, I took to the street and hailed a cab instead of walking so I wouldn’t be late getting back to the office. The second one of the yellow vehicles pulled up to the sidewalk, my phone rang.

  “Hey, Ma,” I answered without having to even check the ID. She made a habit of calling every Wednesday at the same time, making it her personal business to help me detox from my sessions.

  “Hey, sweetie. How was it?”

  I held my hand over the receiver while giving the driver the address of my building before answering my mother’s question. “Eh…it went alright. More about Angel moving and stuff about Jason,” I replied, intentionally glossing over that last part.

  Of course my mother ignored my attempt and went in for the kill.

  “Now…I’m not one to encourage cohabitation…” she started.

  I laughed at the awkward wording and because I knew what she was about to say. “Mom, I’m not moving in with him. I know you love Jason, and so do I, but…it isn’t going down.”

  She sighed into the phone. “I hate the idea of you being in that big city already. But even more than that, I hate the idea of you living alone in that big city.”

  I held on when the driver took a turn sharper than he intended to, nodding in response to the apology he made afterward.

  “If I don’t just turn Angel’s room into an art studio, I’ll put an ad out for a roommate,” I assured her.

  “Ugh, that’s even worse. A stranger, Samantha? What about your co-workers? Any of them looking for a place?”

  I shook my head like she could see me. “Nope. And if they are, they haven’t mentioned it, and I’m not asking,” I said before she could suggest it. “I’ll be fine. Cross my heart.”

  I smiled, but I was pretty sure she wasn’t amused.

  She sighed into the phone and I paid the cab driver when we pulled up to the curb. Closing the door behind me, I decided to set my mother’s mind at ease before heading back inside to work.

  “Mom, you’ve been to my place before. The area is nice and there’s tight security at both entrances. I know almost every neighbor on my floor and we all look out for each other. Relax…please? You don’t have to worry about me.” I said it, but my plea undoubtedly fell on deaf ears. She’d made it her business to worry about me for the past five years.

  “I hear you,” was as good of a response as I was gonna get. “Tell Dad I love him, and I love you, too, okay?”

  “Love you, too, baby. We’ll talk later,” she concluded.

  Dropping my phone back inside my purse, I ran a hand up through the back of my hair and headed for the elevator. I stared at my reflection in the brushed-metal doors, assessing my sleeveless black dress while the numbers counted down from the fifth floor – Jason’s floor. Speak of the devil…

  The smile that met me when the doors parted was familiar and comforting. Moving aside to let out the others who’d ridden the elevator down with him, Jason stepped back inside to accompany me to my floor, abandoning whatever plans had brought him down to the building’s lobby in the first place. Looking him over in his tailored, gray suit, I welcomed the hug that we exchanged once we were alone. My eyes closed and I felt a little of the tension leave my shoulders from earlier.

  “How was your session, baby?” he asked, still holding me close while we climbed to the next floor.

  “Fine…it went fine,” I said, finally releasing him. Based on the look he returned, I gathered that he didn’t believe me.

  “Fine?”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  He let it go.

  “Where were you headed? You didn’t have to ride up with me.”

  Jason shrugged. “Taking a late lunch. I have a brownstone to show in an hour and a half, so I just figured I’d eat and then head over the
re to meet my client.”

  I smiled at him - my man – one of New York’s most promising, up and coming realtors. “Not that you need it, but good luck. I know you’ll land it.”

  He smiled and touched his lips to mine once in response.

  When the bell sounded, signaling that we’d reached the third floor, I still hadn’t stopped staring into those greenish-gold eyes of his – compliments of his mother’s Dominican heritage. However, he owed his light-mocha skin tone to his Haitian father.

  The doors parted and I took a step forward to exit; however, my head whipped back in Jason’s direction when he gently caught my hand. “Hey…can I take my beautiful lady to dinner tonight?” He asked, the corner of his lips turning up into a smile. My eyes drifted down to our interlocked fingers.

  “Sure…I think I can pencil you in.”

  He laughed a little at that. “Perfect. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  *****

  My eyes shifted toward the trash pile and then back to the letter in my hand. It’d been in my possession for three years and yet it remained unopened. It was the one tangible letter AJ had written since our breakup – all the rest had been short email messages trying to talk me into giving him some other form of contact information. It didn’t take him long to figure out that I was at least in New York with Angel and her family, but not knowing their last name made it nearly impossible to get any other information than that. Even this correspondence had only made it to me because of Terrell’s craftiness. I still remembered seeing AJ’s letter folded inside the 21st birthday card Terrell and Maisha mailed out to me three years ago. He knew that once I had it, I wouldn’t get rid of it without knowing what it said.

  Shaking my head, my hand lingered over the trash pile, but then I remembered what Dr. Gill said about me needing closure. She’d been urging me, since the beginning of my coming to see her, to face my past head on. Reading this letter could be a first step in that direction.